Heartache in reverse
by FindingSide
Summary: One-Shot Spencer and Aria/Sparia. If there is any interest in seeing more of this please let me know. Sadly I do not own anyone or anything PLL
1. Chapter 1

**Heartache in Reverse**

**AN:I was brainstorming for my Spemily fic and this just happened. I have my music on shuffle and almost every song fit perfectly with this. The first song that started it was Hunter Hayes – All You Ever **

**For right now this is a One-shot. Maybe if there is any interest I will add to it. Please read and review!**

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><p>She drained the last of the bottles contents and dropped heavily backwards onto the queen sized bed. When her back settled into the plush mattress the bottle slipped from her grip and hit the rug with a dull thud. She'd spent the last three nights with the then full but now empty bottle. All she wanted was enough to make her mind even just the slightest bit hazy. No such luck.<p>

The track started over again for the fifth, maybe sixth time that night. Never mind the fact that she had it on repeat the previous night. The night before that was spent in complete silence. Only the sound of swallowing the light brown liquor was heard. One sip led to three which turned into almost half the bottle. That first night, in her drunken haze, she dreamt of her eyes. The second night she sipped steadily from the bottle. The track played once but she turned it off maybe 5 seconds before it completed. Somewhere in her head she tried to make herself believe. Believe that if the track didn't end neither would they.

That first morning after the last night when she walked through the halls she was still wearing her anger like a shroud. Someone to her left called out her name, another person to her right tapped her shoulder. Who is was and what they wanted didn't even register on the caring meter. She sat in class staring straight forward. Staring at nothing but seeing everything. Eyes open or eyes closed it didn't matter. She saw every moment of the last four months. One class after the next she just stared. She needed it to stop. She needed to shut it off and stop seeing those huge dark eyeliner marked eyes. Inside the bathroom stall she pressed her cheek against the cool tile. She heard the bell ring for her final class. She wouldn't be going that day. She contemplated never going again. One single tear fell. The knock on the stall door went unanswered. The plea to talk went ignored. Her anger left her still and silent.

The last day. That last day she didn't know it would be the last night. They had rushed back to her house. Hurried up to her room. Clothing was shed. Shoes, shirt and jeans mixed in a heap on her floor. Her body was claimed over and over again. Happily and willingly she returned every touch. Every moan. Every kiss. Every I love you. She woke from her sex induced slumber alone. She awoke alone to a folded piece of paper beside her head. She dressed slowly then made her way down the stairs. Her parents wouldn't miss the bottle of liquor, not that they were ever home to miss it in the first place. Back in her room she took one sip, two sips. Three and four and the paper was in her hand, unfolded and ready to break her.

"Spencer,

I can't do this anymore. The guilt is killing me. I'm sorry. I do love you but I can't leave him. I hope one day you will find it in your heart to forgive my cowardice.

I will love you for always- Aria"


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I decided to make this a two shot. The first part was a Spencer POV. This last part is Aria POV. I'd love to get some reviews and feedback. Even though this fic is completed I am thinking about doing a series of one-shots and some drabbles with different combinations of all four girls. I'd also be open to trying to fill some prompts in between chapters from the Spemily fic that I'm currently working on. Hit me up and let me know what you think. **

**Rambling now done. Enjoy the rest of the story! **

**Xoxo- FindingSide**

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><p>The last afternoon before the last night they rushed back to her house. Kissing and groping and climbing the stairs to her bedroom. Shoes were kicked off. Shirts were unbuttoned, yanked up and tossed away. Pants were undone, slid down and discarded. Another clasp on another bra was broken. Two pairs of panties sat crumpled side by side.<p>

Hot demanding open mouthed kisses were shared over and over. Tongues battled for dominance. Nips and bites left marks where only they would see. Places only they knew where to look. Fingers touched. Hands squeezed and traced and prodded. Tongues licked and probed the most intimate of places. She claimed her. Once. Twice. A third time. She was claimed once standing. Again from the top. A third time from beneath.

She awoke from her orgasm induced slumber to one text. One tear fell. One tear, three tears. Four tears for four months. She slipped out from her embrace quietly, gently.. slowly. She stepped back into her jeans then shoes. Another clasp on another bra destroyed. She left it where it had been thrown. She slowly, so slowly buttoned her shirt up.

The words where written and the paper was folded. She stood stone still in the center of the bedroom just watching her sleep. Five minutes, seven minutes. Ten long minutes passed and she still just watched in silence. A make-up laced tear dried on her left cheek. Eleven minutes and the folded piece of paper was placed by her head.

Relief and confusion crowded every corner of her mind. She made her way down the stairs. Out the door. To her car and home. She trudged up her stairs and into her own bedroom. Cold and dark. Dark and empty. Empty but filled with the memories of the first night before the last night.

The memories swirled through her mind leaving her overcome with sorrow and regret. Sorrow for her loss and her lies. Regret for.. regret for pain she knew she was causing. One tear, ten tears. Enough tears to flood the ocean spilled from her darkened makeup stained eyes. Tears she caused all on her own. Tears she would never show her. Or him.

She felt out of control with her. Desire and lust. Fear and on the edge and breakable. She felt everything with her. She felt the kind of love that could destroy her. Everything felt alive and electric when she was with her. All those times in the middle of the day when they would find some secluded classroom. Stolen kisses and desires hidden from the world outside. She felt so open and vulnerable. Vulnerable to the point where she knew she could be broken. She didn't feel that with him.

Safe and easy and gentle. She felt warm at best with him. There was no fire. No chaotic emotions and wants and needs. No desire to have him claiming her body whenever or however he wanted. She felt no need or want to claim him. No want to make him hers. She knew he was. He was safe. He could not break her.

She stood outside the bathroom stall door as the bell had rung for his class the day after the last night. She would be going that day. She would be going every day after that. She tapped on the door. No response. She spoke once. Pleaded twice. She wanted, needed to hear her voice. No answer came. She knew there was nothing left to be said but she still selfishly wanted to hear something. It never came. She knew she broke her. In breaking her she broke herself.

He would fix it. Unknowingly he would bandage her wounds and heal her heart. She would let him. He could never break her heart because it was never his to break. Her own cowardice broke her own heart. One day. Maybe one day she would find it within herself to take the risk. That night was not the day.

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><p>Hope you all liked it! R&amp;R<p> 


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